Family life · Template · Ages 1 to 12
Same-page house rules card
When parents, the helper and grandparents give the same answer, children stop testing each adult in turn. Agree what the rule is, what every adult says and what every adult does, then stick this on the fridge. Two homes? Keep a copy in each.
Download the PDF (A4, 3 pages)Open to print
Use it with: Family care coverage planner · Who has the kids at every hour of your working week?
1Our rules, our words, our response
Write one short rule per row. "What we say" is the exact sentence every adult uses. "What we do" is the same next step, whoever is on duty.
| Area | Our rule | What we say | What we do |
|---|---|---|---|
| Screen timeHow long, which shows or apps, where devices charge, what happens when time is up | |||
| BedtimeLights-out time on school nights and weekends, the last drink, who does the routine | |||
| Food and mealsWhere we eat, how long we sit, trying new food, no feeding in front of the TV | |||
| Sweets and snacksWhich days, how many, who may give them (including treats from visitors) | |||
| "No" momentsHitting, throwing, running off at the carpark, rude words: the firm line for each | |||
| Calm-down stepsWhere the calm spot is and the steps we take (page 3) | |||
| Our own ruleHomework, chores, outings or anything else your family wants on the same page |
2Every adult who cares for our child
Mum, Dad, the helper, each grandparent, an aunt or the student-care teacher: everyone who reads this card signs it, so nobody is the "fun one" or the "strict one".
Family life · Template
The same rules in two languages
For a helper or grandparent who reads another language best. Copy each rule and each sentence from page 1 into English on the left, then write it in their language on the right, together with them. Please don't rely on a translation app: their own words are the ones they will really say.
The printed page has a row for the rule and a row for "what we say" in each area from page 1 (screen time, bedtime, food and meals, sweets and snacks, "no" moments, calm-down steps and your own rule), with one column for English and one for the helper's language. Print it to fill in together.
2Words worth agreeing in both languages
- "Gentle hands."
- "Time to stop. One more minute."
- "I won't let you hit. I'm here."
- "Let's go to the calm spot together."
- "You can be angry. You can't throw."
- "The answer is still no, and I love you."
Family life · Template
Calm-down steps and hard moments
The moments children test hardest are the ones where adults most often give different answers. Agree these in advance, on a calm day.
1Our calm-down steps
The same four steps, whoever is with the child. Change the words to suit your family.
- 1Name it"You're really upset."
- 2Calm spotSame place, adult close by
- 3BreatheSlow breaths or a drink
- 4ReconnectA hug, then try again
2When it gets hard
- The child says "But Grandma lets me""We all agreed: the rule is the same with everyone."
- A visitor offers sweets or a phone"Thank you. We're keeping sweets for the weekend." Then offer the agreed swap.
- The child lives in two homesEach home can keep its own rules. Agree the few that must match, such as bedtime and screens, and say: "At this home, the rule is…"
- A meltdown in publicMove somewhere quieter, keep the same words, and leave if needed. Nobody needs to give in to stop the crying.
- The child plays one adult against another"Let me check with the other grown-ups first." Adults check with each other before answering a new request.
3When you disagree with us
Grandparents and helpers bring years of experience, and their views matter. If you disagree with a rule, please tell us later, away from the child, and we will talk it over and change the card if we all agree. In front of the child, we keep to the card.
Pair it with: the Caregiver Handover Sheet for the daily details (naps, meals, medicines) and the Visual Routine Builder for picture charts every caregiver can follow.
Updated 10 October 2026. Print on A4, portrait, black and white is fine. Fill in page 1 together, write page 2 with the helper or grandparent, and stick both on the fridge.